The Human Centipede Reviews*

KEI: Shoot me for gathering up the gang to waste an hour or so watching this obscene, non-sense film. 

So where do I start enumerating instances of idiocy in this film? Is it the stupidity of the two American road-trippers when they had a flat tire in a forest on their way to a party in Germany? Their dialogue that sounds like it came from a radio drama? Or the uselessness of the hotel room scene at the beginning of the film? Or perhaps the belated escape of Jenny in her hospital bed while the villain is beside her injecting her friend with anesthesia? Oh, no. It is the pointlessness of the whole film.

Coming from a developing (Third world) country, I wonder why the producers of this film will waste even a cent to make it, or why the director (perhaps because he is related to the producer) and other cast spent time and talent on this one. Granted that its concept is something that was not seen in film before, but there is a reason why that is so. And now this. 

What's the point of showing that three people can be stitched up in the mouth and anus like a Siamese triplet? Will it change the world? Will it feed the hungry? I don't know, men, but the world has gone insane.

The only thing I find acceptable in this film is the acting of the demented German doctor, and the harakiri scene of the Japanese man. The rest is a waste of time.

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PAM: It's a sick sick sick Six movie. No coffee bean rating because we never even had coffee!

A very small, teeny-weeny redeeming (if its redeeming at all) factor: the Japanese character, the only one who showed that he is a human being capable of logic; and the actor who played the demented surgeon for consistency. All other characters are really dumb asses! They deserved their fate.

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CAYO: It’s sick. It’s exhausting. Its what I call cinema suicide.

For the sake of argument, I think the idea of the film was ‘interesting’, I mean, it was able to create enough hype prior its release. And who wouldn’t wonder what on earth a “human centipede” is?

But for me, that ‘interesting idea’ died in the actual film. However scientifically sound the human-centipede-surgery was, I found that basic human logic was absent (or late) in the film. To put it bluntly, it was stupid – the New Yorkers, especially.

Still, I’d still like to think that there’s a bigger subtext behind the film (maybe, just maybe), and it was just my disinterest and discontent that makes me react as such. It’s just not everyone’s cup of tea (or coffee for that matter).

*viewed on Jan.  25, 2011