The Human Centipede Reviews*

KEI: Shoot me for gathering up the gang to waste an hour or so watching this obscene, non-sense film. 

So where do I start enumerating instances of idiocy in this film? Is it the stupidity of the two American road-trippers when they had a flat tire in a forest on their way to a party in Germany? Their dialogue that sounds like it came from a radio drama? Or the uselessness of the hotel room scene at the beginning of the film? Or perhaps the belated escape of Jenny in her hospital bed while the villain is beside her injecting her friend with anesthesia? Oh, no. It is the pointlessness of the whole film.

Coming from a developing (Third world) country, I wonder why the producers of this film will waste even a cent to make it, or why the director (perhaps because he is related to the producer) and other cast spent time and talent on this one. Granted that its concept is something that was not seen in film before, but there is a reason why that is so. And now this. 

What's the point of showing that three people can be stitched up in the mouth and anus like a Siamese triplet? Will it change the world? Will it feed the hungry? I don't know, men, but the world has gone insane.

The only thing I find acceptable in this film is the acting of the demented German doctor, and the harakiri scene of the Japanese man. The rest is a waste of time.

- - - - - - -

PAM: It's a sick sick sick Six movie. No coffee bean rating because we never even had coffee!

A very small, teeny-weeny redeeming (if its redeeming at all) factor: the Japanese character, the only one who showed that he is a human being capable of logic; and the actor who played the demented surgeon for consistency. All other characters are really dumb asses! They deserved their fate.

- - - - - - -  

CAYO: It’s sick. It’s exhausting. Its what I call cinema suicide.

For the sake of argument, I think the idea of the film was ‘interesting’, I mean, it was able to create enough hype prior its release. And who wouldn’t wonder what on earth a “human centipede” is?

But for me, that ‘interesting idea’ died in the actual film. However scientifically sound the human-centipede-surgery was, I found that basic human logic was absent (or late) in the film. To put it bluntly, it was stupid – the New Yorkers, especially.

Still, I’d still like to think that there’s a bigger subtext behind the film (maybe, just maybe), and it was just my disinterest and discontent that makes me react as such. It’s just not everyone’s cup of tea (or coffee for that matter).

*viewed on Jan.  25, 2011

Tangled Reviews*

CAYO: Tangled is a different take on the famous Brothers Grimm fairy tale Rapunzel. In this comedy-musical retelling of the story, Rapunzel (Mandy Moore) was a baby whose hair was blessed with the magic of the Golden Flower - the power to heal and reverse aging. Because of this, she was kidnapped by Mother Gothel aka evil witch (Donna Murphy) and kept her inside a tower,  isolating her from the world.

Rapunzel grew to be a fine curious young lady seeking new adventures and sporting 70 feet of golden-magical-hair. Then one day, Flynn Rider (Zachary Levi), a charming and cunning Bandit, accidentally stumbles upon her tower prison.  Their meeting sets them both to the best adventure of their lives; an adventure of self-discovery, new found dreams, rekindled families, and love that will last a lifetime. 

Walt disney animation turns the fairy tale into a wonderfully crafted animation filled with images, music, and life! With original songs composed by Alan Menken (of little mermaid and Aladdin), familiar disney artistry and humor, and a story-line that appeals to the imaginative minds of children, the movie would surely bring back memories of early Disney classics. 

But don't get me wrong, the film is entertaining for children and adults alike.  There's wit in every dialogue and every character's role is played very well, especially by Rapunzel's chameleon pet Pascal and dogged palace horse Maximus who steals the scene whenever they can. (I love 'em both).

All in all, a feel good movie to spend with friends and family. 

- - - - - - -

PAM:Tangled is a tangling of the texts of Rapunzel and Robin Hood. Typical Disney animated film yet with rich subtexts of the current predilection for eternal youth, women power (heroine vs witch, and unusual proposition at the end) and the nature of heroes and villains.

The main characters are interesting because it challenges our stereotypes of heroes and heroines, villains and witches. Is Mother Gothel really evil through and through torturing a helpless Rapunzel? Who really made it possible to have that happily-ever-after ending, the real hero? Flynn/Eugene or Maximus?

We may oftentimes, as adults, dismiss Disney animated films as typical feel good kids' movies, but this one made me mull over how we re-tell our favorite fairy tails.

3.5 coffee beans ;-)

- - - - - - -

KEI: I was not fond of fairy tales when I was a kid. What I was fond of was to play piggy-down-1-2-3 with my cousins and neighbors, running around the basketball and tennis court until our young skin is toasted from too much exposure to the mid-day sun. So I was not really that excited to watch Tangled, though I was the one who bought the DVD. When I watched it, I remembered the film Brothers Grimm (2005) instead, where there was a scene when the brothers Grimm went to the tower of the old witch (played by Monica Belucci),  Mother Gothel in Tangled. In the 2005 film, the sources of the two brothers' fairy tales are presented; the witch is part of a certain German town's folk lore. But Rapunzel was not in that film.

So, like a child unfamiliar with these western narratives of happy endings, I asked Cayo and Pam about the fairy tale of Rapunzel since Tangled is already an intertext of her and Robin Hood's stories. Perhaps that is one innovation in that film--combining two (western) fairy tales in one--or maybe not. We saw it already in the Shrek series. The songs sound the same as the previous compositions of Menken. The animation, though more distinct and sharp, still has the Disney mark. 

This is probably because Disney still wants to capture the young audience. Unlike Pixar, Disney's wholly-owned subsidiary, that produces animated films for both the young and old (and this is why their films are well-loved and commercially successful), old-timer Disney likes to keep the tradition.     

So perhaps it is my age that made me stick to facebook-ing than sitting down to watch the full film.  

*viewed on Jan. 24, 2011